My new Neighbors have been Scientologists for 35 years.

But they haven’t raked in any financial benefits. When they first moved in I asked them about Dianetics (there was a large bumper sticker on the car which appeared to be a serious broken down ghetto sled with the “Dianetics” sticker and the symbol, which by the way, looks like a reworked Swastika.

“Yep, we’ve been with the church 35 years,” said Ray, “haven’t we Sally.” said the 60 something gangly 6′ 4″ Toby Jones look-alike. Sally looks tired, quite older and using a walker. I asked about the “Going Clear” doc regarding the church on HBO. “Bunch of Bullshit, those people didn’t get what they wanted,” He said angrily. “C’mon, what could Paul Haggis possibly want from Scientology.” “What everyone wants! To be an OT! An Operating Thetan!” We sat and looked at each other for a moment. “So Paul Haggis did not achieve “OT” status and quit? that’s not what he said in the Doc.” “He’s lying, they are all lying. It’s a shame after everything the Church did for those fuckers.” He said sadly. “What about the money it cost to get through all those levels?

I mean, I’ve heard it’s really expensive.” He grinned, “So is college, look this is cheaper than any university you go to, it’s less of a scam then university as well.” Ok he has a point there, But, “Well yeah but the money you pay for Scientology is only good for just that.” He was now going through boxes and boxes of books. all Dianetics teachings. “Look I will give you all the literature and info you need on it and give you some free tests, you’ll see once you get involved with The Church, there is nowhere else you need to go.”He handed me what look liked a thirty-five-year-old large (possibly 800-1000 page) book, titled Dianetics: Everything you need to know. “Look read this It’ll read this, it’ll explain everything.” I was already in the middle of a thousand page plus book, “Infinite Jest.” Which were at least 1000 times more fascinating. I looked him in the eye, “I’m never gonna’  read that, but thanks anyway.” I walked away. “Ok but you’ll never know the truth, the church can save you.” Man, how many times have I heard that in my life.

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